Meditations on Masturbation 

With every waking moment and every luscious stride praise for this body. A gentle, big, boisterous, luminous vessel. Rolling thighs hear my thunder and cry to a teasing yet fulfilling  touch. A juicy, warm inner experience. Round supple nipples, a deep, a full, a soft knowing. This thing is delicious, what great bountiful mystery lies beneath.

I’ve been interviewed a few times during this pandemic about sex and it is clear that black womyn need to indulge more in self-pleasure.  Even if it has 0 to do with a partner, masturbating and sensual self-touch is seen as an unfulfilling, quick fix. During this pandemic, it has become increasingly hard *pun intended* to meet up with your partner(s) if you do not already live together or if you didn’t already have a long-term relationship. As you should be taking every precaution to protect yourself, I’m sure you get tired of fantasizing. Or do you?? Even if there are no potential partners it is important to indulge yourself in some quality you time. Be not confused, masturbating is not a “problem solver.” It should be viewed as a delectable experience curated by YOU. 

At an early age, I discovered masturbating and as I got older, I explored so many ways to masturbate. The older I became the more I could explore with toys, objects, and so many ways to turn myself on. Being in tune with my body allowed me to have the most explosive sexual experiences one couldn’t even fathom.  It also boosted my self-confidence and helped me understand and appreciate my body more. But how!? I invite you to decolonize all thoughts you have about masturbation and discover yourself in ways unimaginable.

1.     Sensual self-touch

Touch your body. Find your favorite essential oils and make your very own love oil to massage yourself with. Start with your arms and make your way to your shoulders and neck. Massage your breasts and spend time touching your belly and following your beautiful stretch marks with your fingertips. Touch the parts you aren’t that fond of and really spend time being tender to yourself.

2.     Manifestation Masturbation

I’ve orgasmed my way into money on numerous occasions. Just like any spell, the moment you think it, it has already manifested within you. That means the next steps to take involve you writing it down, preparing your space, gathering specific items, asking for exactly what it is you want and focusing on that while you masturbate. As clear as you can visualize the money you want, visualize how you want to receive it and visualize all the components that will help you manifest what you want. So, go ahead and cast yourself because you are the spell.

3.     Affirmation Masturbation

Grab a notebook, post its, note cards or anything you can to affirm how sexy, beautiful, powerful, unique and juicy you are. Write it out and spend time focusing on what you love about that ass, them juicy lips, them thick ass thighs, them eyes and all that is you!  Put on some lingerie or anything that make you feel sexy. Hell, wear your birthday suit. Grab a mirror the next time you want to masturbate. I promise you this will be a delectable experience. Watch yourself react, watch your body experience itself like never before. 

4.     Toys

If  you are unfamiliar there are a world of vibrators, clit stimulators, dildos, double penetrators, clit ticklers, anal plugs, nipple clamps and so much more. If you are new to the world of using toys to masturbate, you could start with a magic bullet, pocket pussy and/or suction dildo. You can use the magic bullet to stimulate your clit while allowing the dildo to penetrate. This is called double-stimulation. To take things further, if you are aroused from nipple play, this could add a third layer of stimulation taking your orgasm to higher heights. If you are not home alone, I do suggest biting a pillow or turning on some loud music, you are going to have a major climax and everyone who is near-by will be able to hear. If you aren’t ready to go there, experiment with just one of the toys mentioned above.  If you like tribbing or giving head, try a pocket pussy and or a dildo. You could try a vibrating pocket pussy or one that doesn’t vibrate, either can provide great pleasure.

5.     Kink

There are thousands of kinks and so many ways to explore what you like alone or with your partner. If you feel like there is this thing you like doing while having sexual encounters yet it feels weird or strange, I promise you it’s not and I’m sure there is a name for it. Perhaps you are interested in kink but have yet to explore it, well now is the time. Whether it be wax play, impact play, electro play, bondage, gagging, role play, masochism, or any more of the thousands of kinks not listed you have nothing but time so practice as much you would like. Create a Fet Life page. If you are not familiar, Fet Life is a site that allows you to connect with other kinksters  across the world or in your own backyard virtually. You can choose to post any kind of photos you want, join any groups you want, register for virtual events and discover other kinds of kinks. Before the world fell at our feet, I hosted a queer kink munch and I was well on the way to hosting more events for black queer folks. I used Fet Life to gain more participants and connect with new folks who were interested in building a community. Weekend Reunion is a sex positive BDSM collective that embraces kink and black culture. I had a blast at their event and recommend you checking them out as well!

Thank you for reading. These are just a few of my favorite ways to indulge in self-pleasure. There are so many more and so many more ways to experience it all. If you are able try them with a partner or, try them alone, it’s all up to you. You are more likely to find out exactly what you do and do not like after having experienced it with yourself first so give them a try. Stay sexy, stay safe and stay kinky during the apocalypse of 2020.

Connect with me on IG: @AMOURTEASE |    @AMOROUSEBONY

Email me: allureoma@gmail.com

 Amorous Ebony is a musician, performing artist, arts instructor, light-worker, and radical activist centering her work around the freedom, agency, empowerment, and self-expression of Black Womyn. With years of experience in cultivating spaces of spiritual empowerment and body positivity for Black Womyn, she fosters growth and healing in the face of unchecked misogyny.